Origins

How do we become a mother?

Most might give you the simple answer, having a child. Well, of course. Physically this makes you the mother of a child. But what really is a Mother? How do we really define motherhood? The Google Dictionary Defines it as this:

moth·erˈməT͟Hər/

noun

1. a woman in relation to her child or children."she returned to Bristol to nurse her aging mother"synonyms:female parent, materfamilias, matriarch; More

verb

1. bring up (a child) with care and affection."the art of mothering"

2. dated: give birth to. synonyms: give birth to, have, bear, produce, birth; archaic be brought to bed of"she mothered two sets of twins"

But, a mother is a much deeper and more intimate thing than this. We don't simply "bring up a child," or "give birth," and we are more than just a "relation" to our child. Mothering is a calling. It is a life lesson, a never ending work of art. It is tough, it is exhausting, and it is rewarding beyond belief. It starts the moment we find out there is life being given to us (whether it grows inside you or inside someone else), when our creator gave us a responsibility greater than almost any other, to Love beyond measure and to have Faith in His mighty plan. We are called to give of ourselves, for the rest of our lives, no matter how hard it is.

Acts 20:35

"In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'"

Giving of ourselves changes in appearance as we move through motherhood. In the beginning, during pregnancy, it may mean reevaluating our lifestyle; better nutrition, more consistent and gentle exercise, more rest, re-prioritizing our goals and to-do lists, praying for someone other than yourself, and learning to let go of control. Your body is now not only yours, but the home of someone else. Someone that depends on you for life. What we eat, what we do, and our emotions all affect this life inside. So you may have to give up that Mountain Dew habit, or start eating some lovely greens and healthy proteins instead of pizza. This also means giving of our time to learn and understand what is happening. Exploring the changes your body is making, embracing and supporting them, and trusting that God created your body to be able to do this.

Researching your pregnancy care and birth options is also a huge new responsibility. It's so common for women to assume that the maternity care system is flawless and will give them the best care all of the time and we can just sit back, relax, and coast through this pregnancy without a care in the world. But this is not true. We cannot just blindly walk through this journey. Not every option is harmless, and no part of pregnancy or birth is 100% risk-free. You must be able to weigh your options and make decisions for another life, and for yourself. No one can know and care for that precious life like you can, and no one knows your body or it's capabilities like you can. The beginning is a time when we tune in to our body and baby and God's plan for us; listen and pray about which direction you want to take.

James 1:5

"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."

Philippians 4:6

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

Who do you want to help you through this time? What kind of care provider would you like to come along side you and advise you. Who will you need for emotional, physical, and spiritual support? Will you hire a midwife, a doula, a family practice doctor, an OBGYN, any combination of these? How will you prepare yourself for the hard work ahead of you? What tests do you believe you need or want? What birth choices do you feel will benefit you and your baby the most? Do you TRUST God enough for this? Do you TRUST yourself? What do you need to work on emotionally or spiritually to prepare yourself for all the big changes and decisions coming your way?

Of course this is only one portion of your journey through becoming a mother. Big decisions and chosing paths are only part of it. You will also find yourself learning to be a mother in the tiniest of ways. Small details and daily tasks that no one really thinks about. Things so small, but so important and self sacrificial.

Scripture quotes Jesus in John 13:15 after he washes his disciples feet.

"I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you."

One of the last things Jesus did before he died on the cross was to wash feet. Something so small, dirty, something so simple, yet so nurturing and self sacrificial. He gave of himself in humility to care for those he loved. We are to do as he did. As mothers that may mean wiping noses and bottoms, washing laundry, kissing owies, carrying a sippy cup. It may seem menial, it may seem tiring and tedious, but we are called to do it and to take joy in doing so.

Psalm 127:3

"Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him."

Giving of ourselves is not only physical, but spiritual and emotional. We can no longer focus on our own wants and needs, but instead, our thoughts turn to God's plan and intention for this new life. How do we love someone else more than ourselves? I don't think that can be explained easily. But somehow, in God's beautiful plan for birth, he enabled mother's to make this huge transition.

As mother's we are called to pray for our children, to comfort them, to provide guidance and direction. This starts even before they are born. We can pray for them in the womb- pray over development, comfort, health, and guidance in raising a servant of God. While they still lay within us, we can talk to them, connect with them, take time out of our busy days to talk to them and let our child know that they are loved, they matter, that they are welcome and wanted. We can talk about our plans for labor and birth and stop to wait and listen to what they want. You may not actually "hear" them. But sacrificing time and self during pregnancy can allow you to feel the spirit of your child and how God intended them to be, to be in tune with their personality and needs. God will show you what they need. But, we must be willing to let go of ourselves, our routines, our wants, our needs, to truly hear them. God has intention and purpose in every child, and he calls them to himself. It is our job to support them in finding his joy and instruction, in the womb and throughout life.

Mathew 19:14

"Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belong to such as these."

As they are born and grow older, we communicate with them as they learn language and body language.... even then it is easy to forget that they have thoughts and feelings that are important, but don't know how to communicate the same as we do. I know how frustrating it is when your baby just cries for hours for no apparent reason, or your toddler throws himself on the floor in the store when you say "No" to something that may hurt them. We must take time to really tune in, to be patient, to give up our perfection and learn to understand their language. What are they really trying to tell you? What are their needs? What is this big emotion that they don't understand or have the tools for expressing?

Ephesians 6:4

"Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the raining and instruction of the Lord."

Sometimes sacrifice means not cleaning the house, but simply snuggling your child all day. Not doing your makeup, but playing silly games with them for hours. Not going out to the movies, but staying home and watching a silly movie with the kids. It may mean you give up comforts and amenities to be able to stay home and care for them. No new clothes or expensive gadgets. Sacrificing things that we once held as important, to give more to our child. This is God's intention, and how a child learns to love and grow and thrive.

Self Sacrifice can be hard, but when we learn to trust in God's provision for our lives, we can be filled with so much more as a reward. Mother's have a special calling to give of themselves and to trust in God's intention and provision for them. It is a strength that is gathered, learned, and improved only by practice and intention. So, stay strong Mama, you will grow, you will learn, you will fail, and you will triumph. You will be a mother. This is only the begining.

Mathew 6:25

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about you life, what you will eat or drink; or about you body, what you will wear, Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?"